Monday, 3 February 2014

Jealousy, Competition and Hate.

Hey everyone

I hope you are all well and having a great week! To start off this blog post, I am going to write a disclaimer:
This blog post isn't about anyone in particular. It's not a dig at anyone. This is a mixture of things I have read on Twitter/Blogs/YouTube and also things that have happened to me. Luckily, I've only experienced a little bit of 'negativity' compared to say, other beauty/fashion bloggers/YouTubers. 

If any of you readers are experiencing any negative behaviour from other bloggers, then I hope this post will help.

When you think of the word blog, what comes to mind? "Opinions", "Reviews", "Putting yourself out there". And many of us bloggers do this. Beauty and fashion bloggers are sharing a glimpse of their life through their blog in the form of a few sentences, a photograph or even a video. Whilst there are many many many bloggers out there who might be blogging about the exact same thing you are blogging about; remember: You are you.
Blogging and YouTube can be seen like this shiny ladder that we are all on, and we are all climbing it, there are people who are willing to step all over you to get to the next step. Which is the very horrible and sad side to blogging.
Imagine putting a lot of effort into your work, only to have someone else either take your ideas, or give you really bad criticism and hate. Or even do the complete opposite - ignore you.

I've been blogging for over two years now, and I have experienced two of these three things.
1) I've had my fair share of someone taking my blog ideas and my review ideas, only to re-do them and not give any sort of credit. Fair enough, when it comes to a "What's In My Bag" post, obviously I didn't create that tag so thats not the kind of post I'm talking about. 
I'm talking about posts like "My Everyday Smokey Eye" or even my blog layout. Yes, I've had people imitate the words I use on my blog, the positioning and layout, even my interests. 
Can you believe it? My interests... really?
2) I've also experienced being ignored by a blogger who writes about things that are completely different to what I write about. And I have no idea why? I've not said anything bad, or done anything bad. But I guess some people give you the cold shoulder about something that is personal to them.

If you've been blogging for some time, then you may have experienced this too. In fact, you may have experienced more than what I have - in that case, sucks to be you. I'm joking. It's an awful thing right?

Back to the "you are you" bit.
Generally why people dislike each other, is because that they often compare themselves to that person. (Unless of course, you have had other problem with them - but I'm not talking about that.) 
Why is it that some people stop talking to you once you're getting good grades, or a great amount of blog views, or that you have more followers on Twitter?
It's because they're comparing themselves to you, and it's sometimes in a jealous manner.
Obviously this blog post isn't going to end all jealousy feuds and what not, but I want to make you guys think.
When it comes to applying for a job, we often get competitive. We want that particular job! And whatever that person has that we don't (the good parts, not any STD's), we want it. We want to be great at everything, and succeed at everything. Right?

So when it comes to blogging, some people can get jealous. "Why has that person got more followers than me?" - "Why is she getting more views than me? I've been blogging a lot longer?" - "I don't like her, she's getting a lot of attention". 
And so on!
When you think like this, it can send you in a downward spiral. Everyone has been in this position at some point in their lives, it's not just blogging. Whenever there's a job interview, or you're talking about an ex's new partner, or there's just something new and brilliant than you just want - yet someone else is getting it.
Either you're going to completely dislike and ignore it, or you really want it and you're willing to get super duper competitive. 

What do you do?
If you're in this position and you're wanting something that someone else has - OR - you're willing to go that extra length and imitate their qualities in order to achieve something.
Stop.
Look in the mirror.
Look at yourself (obviously).
And you need to acknowledge that you are you. There's only one '(insert your full name here)' in the world and you're gonna be the best damn '(insert your full name here)' there is.
I know it's very cheesy to say something like this, but this is the best way to actually love yourself.
All of your little traits and likes and dislikes and quirks are what makes you, you.
Think about it, list everything that you like and dislike. And I can guarantee you that there is like 1% of the world who like about 80% of the same things you do. In fact, I don't even know a statistic!
What I'm trying to say is, don't compare yourself to someone who is completely different to you. Sure you might have similar blogs - but you guys aren't the same. It's completely subjective.

Even those of you who are on the receiving end of 'hate', you need to look in the mirror and admire yourself. Just be like, "At least I'm doing something right".

I understand, I can relate. Some people can look like they have everything, and you want that 'everything. But you need to be content with what you already have, and who you are. 
Also, another thing: I've seen people get jealous and competitive over blog sponsors and being sent free products. No. You need to be happy with blogging, and you need to blog with a pure heart. I know it sounds really nice to be sent a lot of fancy products - but honestly, it's not all that.
I think that bloggers should support each other as a community - follow people, make friends, help each other out. There's no need to feel like you can't tell people about certain collaborations with companies, at the end of the day, if you put a lot of work into your blog, people will be able to see.
If you do the best written / visual piece on your blog, people will notice and give you credit. 

Be comfortable with you. Have faith in yourself and your blog, and know that someone out there is interested in what you post. There is no need to imitate someone else, or be jealous of anyone else. You need to just be the best 'you' - don't feel the need to follow the crowd if you don't want to. So what if so and so is getting a lot of views because of a particular post they've written. You write about something that makes you happy. Share your world with other people! You don't have to include any bad bits if you don't want to. 
Remember that blogging is meant to be fun :) It's your little space on the internet where people can have a look and get inspiration, or read your posts for advice on a particular product.
Your blog is what you make of it, and just like yourself, make it the best damn blog anyone has read.
And most of all, be happy with you.

I hope this blog helps you if you're in a situation like this :)

~ xoxo
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