Hey everyone :)
For some reason, this was highly requested.. I have no idea why but I hope this helps in some way or another!
- I did write up a post like this last year but I thought I'd update it and make it a bit more current ;) -
So, you've just broken up with the girl/guy you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. You're sad, you're confused, you miss them... Regardless of who broke up with who, you're both going to be feeling pretty shit.
What do you do?!
1) KEEP IT TOGETHER aka Don't be a dumbass:
By this I mean, do not message them like crazy and say "I miss you", "I want to get back with you", "Let's be friends with benefits!?" No. There is a reason why you both broke up, and if you guys are meant to get back together, it will happen in due time. Do not rush to get back together because you miss that person, or you're feeling lonely, or whatever negative things you're feeling.
Give it about a week or two and see how you feel, that is when you'll know if your feelings are true or if they're temporary.
2) FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS aka Don't be desperate:
Why is it that when some people break up, they tweet/status update with things like "Certain people need to _____" and direct it at the ex. And don't do the whole, "Omg so many guys are after me now that I'm single", hoping that the ex will see this and bring them back to you.
No, calm your shit.
This just looks really tacky and desperate, and your ex will not pay any attention because they know it's just a scheme.. If you really really really do want to get them to notice you, tweet good things. Say you're having a good day, or how good life is and things like that.
Personally, I avoid talking to people who complain about a lot of things in their life, or they always have something to moan about. I'd rather talk to someone who is feeling good! So if you post good things, people will want to talk to you :)
3) TAKE YOUR TIME aka Don't be quick to move on:
You know how people usually do the rebound trick after being in a relationship for however long, just don't do that.
People end up getting hurt, it's extra stress that isn't needed and who says you have to be in a rush to find someone else. If you're wanting to move on quickly to forget about the ex, or to make the ex jealous, then I have a quote for you my friend:
"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
It just doesn't work!
You honestly do need to take your time to move on from your ex, because time is what heals everything, so don't drag other people into something that they don't deserve to deal with.
The only person you need at this point is yourself.
Take up some extra hobbies, find things to do that you enjoy, make the most out of your free time :)
4) BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND aka Don't drive others away:
Like I said in the last post - The only person you need is yourself.
When someone goes through a break up, they usually tell their best friends everything from how they're feeling - usually they're upset, angry, lonely etc. And truthfully, as much as your friend can be there to console you, there is only so much that they can do. They're not a genie, who can grant your wishes and make everything fine again. And they probably don't want to hear you constantly go on about your ex and how much you want to be with them again.
This is why you need to learn to be your own best friend, the only one that can actually help you out of this rut is yourself.
If you're feeling run down and you want a pick me up, give yourself a facial/manicure - yeah, I'm talking to you guys out there too! :P Buy a new handbag, get a new hair colour... things like that to really treat yourself and make you feel that tiny bit better, is the step in the right direction :)
5) CUT TIES aka Don't stalk them on Facebook/Twitter:
Now I know a lot of people like to keep their ex's on Facebook to see who they're talking to, or what they're up to. But those of you who have actually done this, you will know that this will make you really upset/sad because I can guarantee you that when you look on the ex's profile, there will be something on there that you wish you hadn't read, or it'll anger you or make you miss them.
You will feel a lot better if you just cut off ties with the ex and allow yourself to move on with your life :)
6) THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON aka Don't think about the good times (unless you really want to) :
You need to realise that you guys broke up for a reason, and whichever reason that was, it's generally for the better. One major piece of advice that I can give you about moving on is that you need to let go. Let go of the memories because all it will do is make you miss your ex more and more - and that's the opposite of what you really want.
You should remember to think of the reasons why you broke up, why things didn't work out... If you had any arguments, what annoyed you about them, etc.
Just keep to yourself and block out anything that will make you feel upset/hurt/angry :)
I hope you guys liked this post and this advice has helped you in some way!