Thursday, 2 August 2012

The difference between a judgemental person, and a narrow mind.

I came across this yesterday while scrolling thourgh my newsfeed on Facebook... 
(have you ever found yourself spending so much time on there, despite doing absolutely nothing :S)

So I read it... and I do get what the whole purpose is of this photo.
Like it shouldn't really matter how someone looks, or their habits or their background - because it kinda doesn't even matter. At the end of the day, we all just want to be accepted for who we are, right?

But this picture just spelled out I R O N Y for me.

How can someone say "Oh I hate judgemental people" and then go on to judge someone for judging them :S

It's either you judge them or you don't. And when you don't judge someone for judging you, you don't say anything. You just basically accept it.

But when you're fighting back and passing judgement like this, it shows you're just being as judgemental as them.

Don't get me wrong, I hate when people judge me too. But I can't help it that people will assume things about me, and judge me on how I write or how I look blah blah. Because I do the same. In fact, we all do it. 
It's in our nature to do that. 

But I do agree with it though.
We don't have the right to judge people, nor do they have the right to judge us in return. But it's how we are. We can't do anything about that. People are going to judge regardless, they've been doing it their whole lives. We are going to judge in return (but maybe not as bad as others). 

There's a difference between judgemental people and narrowminded people.

I think the photo kinda describes someone with a narrow mind, and not being able to see beyond the susbstance abuse, a bad past and body modifictation - because there are people like that who do exist. And so, they don't accept anything new or unfamiliar into their lives, simply because it may be seen as 'bad' or 'wrong' or 'unacceptable'. And therefore completely dismissing it.

And... let me just ask you this. Have you ever not sat next to someone on the bus/train because the person sat there already looks like a hobo/pedo? Or, you've avoided a certain makeup brand because it's not really well known? Or, you've just avoided someone completely because you've had this gut feeling of "Oh, he/she seems really shifty.. I don't think I can be able to talk to them as well as I'd like to". Or you see a well dressed guy and think, "Oh, he's wearing really nice clothes, he must be like really full of himself". Or you see a girl wearing UGG boots and think, "Oh, she must be kinda rich or just shallow enough to follow the crowd".
(Eeeek! No offence to girls that wear UGG boots, it was just merely an example... don't hurt meee!)
Or... "I don't know if the recent Spiderman is good because it's not Tobey Maguire".

That's what your judgement is. That's what it's there for. There for you to choose what you like and dislike whther it's on clothes, makeup, people, music, movies.

Now, I'm not saying it's good to pass judgement on people just because of materialistic values, or how others dress - but we kind of do already. It's how our brains work. And there isn't really much escaping that... Well... unless you went down the route of Buddhism or something. But I'm just saying. 

We can't really control our judgement on people / things, as that's what we've done all of our lives, and that was how we were raised, and our parents were raised like that.
But, we can control our mind and how open minded we'd like to be. 

You can take the step of sitting next to the hobo on the bus, or getting to know the girl wearing the UGG boots, or watch the new Spiderman movie, and get to know the well dressed guy.

It's pretty often that we let our thoughts get the better of us, when in reality, our thoughts are not 100% fact. They're not true.

How many times have you walked into an exam, worked so hard on it, but still thought you could've done better on that particular question. And because you're thinking about it a lot, you end up believing that you've failed the exam.


That's just your own mind getting the best of you. And that's your judgement playing games with you, you've judged yourself on how bad you were in the exam. It's there saying "That was shit, you could've done better, waaay better". But, when the results are given to you and you get the good news. You've passed. Oh, what was that Mrs Judgement? I did pass after all.

And so, that was an incredibly bad example of how our thoughts / judgement let us down. Just because you thought something, that you believe is true without knowing it all fully, doesn't mean you're 100% correct.

Much like that well dressed guy; you could think he's full of himself, or, he could just be on the way to an event or a business meeting. Or the girl wearing UGG boots, she could've just received them as a present from an auntie or grandma or something. 

 So, what is the lesson learned here?

We're programmed to judge people, persons, things - whether it's good or bad judgement.
But, we can choose to look at things differently, we can judge, but with an open mind.

~ xoxo

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