Monday, 12 March 2012

I'm so over YOU!

At some point in our lives, we have to break up with someone. A boyfriend / girlfriend, a best friend (but that's not really the kind of break up I'm talking about here). And it can be all types of difficult.
in this case, I'm going to be talking about how to get over an ex-boyfriend, and some tips / advice that will get you feeling like yourself in no time and most importantly, help you get over him!
All of this advice is from my own experiences, and a combination of what my other girl friends have said and what I've read from magazines ;P

1) Cry :
This is one of the most important tips. Countless number of people will say "Oh, don't cry. He is not worth your tears", but if you FEEL like crying, then CRY. If it makes you feel any less stressed, then do it. BUT you need to give yourself a date to stop crying. E.g, you broke up in December, give yourself two weeks to cry over it and then make sure at the end of those two weeks, you STOP. And don't cry hysterically, just don't.

2) Get rid of EVERYTHING that reminds you of him :
So this means photos, text messages, things he's bought/given you, songs that remind you of him, just EVERYTHING. If you don't want to actually get rid of this stuff, then put it away in a place that you don't really go to on a daily basis. It's best to get rid of all of these things, therefore you will be able to move on without having to deal with memories.
Also, this is optional but delete his Facebook, this will allow you to carry on with your life and not check up on things he is doing, people he is talking to and what he has been up to lately. This may trigger your anger or make you upset, as you may end up thinking "oh, why is he talking to this girl blah blah". Save yourself from all of that drama and eradicate it, you don't need it!

3) Look in the Mirror :
MOST important step here. After this break up, you will be feeling shit, shit about yourself, about your life, and think that you're not good enough or pretty enough. And then you stop believing in yourself and start thinking, "Oh, I'm never going to find anyone like him". BUT you need to look in the mirror and say "Look I am (insert your name here) and this is me. There is no one else in the world that is like me, and if people don't like me, well they can fuck off!" So the whole point of this, is to accept your flaws and learn to love yourself. I know this is absolutely cheesey, but it's TRUE. The only person that can get you through life is you. So what if you have curly hair, or freckles, or you're not that tall. Who really gives a shit anyway. You need to think positive and love yourself, if you can't, then how are you going to expect someone else to love you? Right?
Also, if you're wanting to get in a relationship because you feel unhappy without a boyfriend, then you're getting a boyfriend for the wrong reason, as you're going to feel like shit once he leaves you.
You need to be happy with yourself

4) Get OUTSIDE :
You're probably feeing like staying at home, sitting in your PJ's and eating Ben & Jerrys Cookie Dough ice cream. Yeah you could, but it would be better to go outside and have fun. This doesn't necessarily mean talking to other guys, you could just go out with your girl friends or your sister or cousin or something. You will feel tons better being with your loved ones and not having to think about that asshole :)
Your loved ones will do absolutely anything they can to make you happy, even if it means for them to listen to your problems. Which bring me to my next point..

5) TALK! :
Talking and voicing out your problems will help you get things off your chest and it's much better than keeping it all bottled up. In my case, I just wrote about everything that I felt at that current moment (and then now I read over it and laugh at how much of a knob I was). But it also helps you see things from another point of view. You might be feeling all these sudden emotions one day, then the next day they will be completely gone and you will think: "the fuck was I so pissed off about?" And another good thing about writing is that no one has to hear how angry you were that he was acting like an asshole, or how you can't be bothered getting your ass to University because you're going to see him that day.
As much as your friends and family care about you, there is only so much they can take in. It's good to voice out your problems but do remember that they have shit of their own to think about. Also, you don't really want them to see you talking all irrational, because that might end up harshing their mood. So writing is a good thing :)

6) DON't rebound :
Don't feel like getting with someone other guy because you're lonely or unhappy. Because chances are, you will get with that person and after a short while, you will start feeing like yourself and leave that guy and possibly make him feel like shit. You need to feel right in order to be in another relationship - give it around a month or two. Just use that time to keep your options open and get to know other people.

7) Do whatever that makes YOU feel good :
This can be whatever really; basically anything that you enjoy, but it will also make you feel beter about yourself.
> Drawing -

I used to draw whenever I got upset or pissed off, as I was putting all of my negative emotions into something that I can later look at and think "oh cool, well that looks good!" Like showcasing my talent for others to see.

> Shopping -
Shopping is pretty awesome, although don't spend too much! Buy a new foundation, or a piece of statement jewelry, or a new casual top. The key here is to make you feel better about yourself.

> Listening to music -
Perhaps listening to a whole new music genre could help, discover a new band and listen to their albums. Oh, and make sure that it is upbeat music and not soppy love ballads! :P

> Photography -
I'm just putting this one out there, but taking photos can be a type of new hobby that you may end up enjoying! And it doesn't have to be photos of nature or streets, photos of yourself do count as photography too ;)

8) DON'T overindulge :
Many look to food for comfort, especially chocolate - which is a definite no no! You can have A piece of chocolate but no more, don't rely on it to make you happy. As you will end up breaking out and putting on unnecessary weight. Although chocolate contains endorphins that make you happy, it isn't a permanent feeling. Instead, go out for a walk, or join a gym (a great place to meet people!) and then the exercise will create those endorphins which will make you happy, and you will also be looking trim and fit! Yay :)

9) Keep busy & occupied :
Try a new hobby; reading novels, photography, skating, going to the park for walks. Just basically something that will take your mind off your worries and can somehow benefit you.... Start a blog? ;P

10) Appearance :
> Many go for a new hairstyle/colour -
but don't go for the dramatic chop! Don't go for a hairstyle which you will later regret! Instead, go for layers, or try a different hair colour that will look super sexy on you!

> Find a colour that suits you -
For me, it is Pink. Now it's not my ultimate favourite colour (which is red) but it's one that a lot of people have said it suits my skin tone. I ended buying a few staple items that were pink/rosy like lipstick and blusher and a top ;)

> Clothes -

You don't have to buy a whole new wardbrobe, buy a few staple items that you can wear with many different ways. A few of my favourites are a Parisian denim shorts and a long flowing black cardigan.
Try find your colour of clothing by going to a clothes shop and trying out a lot of different coloured clothes, and just get an honest opinion on how you look! That way, you will feel a bit more confident in the colours and clothes that you are wearing.

11) Smile ♥ :
It won't hurt, and it will definitely attract people (and other potential guys ;D) to you!!

I hope this helps at least someone out there, who is going through a break up or is still suffering from a break up, it's not easy but follow a bit of my advice and hopefully it will help you! :)

~ xoxo

No comments

Post a Comment

© The Ravi Osahn | Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

This site uses cookies from Google to deliver its services - Click here for information.

Blogger Template Created by pipdig